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VULNERABILITY IS THE NEW BLACK – 3 WAYS TO EMBRACE IT

by Michelle Baca

 

Have you ever noticed that people respond to social media posts that get really personal?

You see someone who is in great shape now who has the courage to post their “before” pictures and suddenly everyone is inspired and feels closer to that person because now they seem more human. They seem more relatable.

The same phenomenon occurs when a super successful person who always seems to breeze through life shares struggles, concerns and challenges.

People love knowing that other people are not perfect. It serves as a bonding experience and it creates the space for others to share their perceived flaws.

There are things about you and things that have happened to you that you may not necessarily want people to know about.

Maybe you’re embarrassed by them, you wish they weren’t true and whenever you are reminded of them, it brings back unpleasant feelings, thoughts and sensations.

What if you could make it so that they no longer had the power to make you feel insecure, embarrassed, “less than,” inferior, not good enough or any other negative or un-empowering emotional state?

What if you could look these things about you in the eye and say,

“I am going to shine the light so brightly on you right now that I will never feel like I have to suppress you anymore. I am going to deal with you once and for all. Instead of feeling like someone is poking me in the chest every time I am reminded of you, I’m going to simply acknowledge you and love and accept myself exactly as I am with all of my supposed failures, limitations and weaknesses.”

 

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Here are 3 ways to embrace the parts of you that have potential to make you feel bad:

1) Lay It All Down On The Line

Make a list of all of the things that you can think of that you have ever been embarrassed about, ashamed of, insecure about, or resistant to share.

Just start writing and capture whatever comes up for you.

You may find that as the list grows, you begin to dig deeper and zero in on the ones that have the most power over your feelings and emotions.

For example, here’s a sneak peak of my partial list.

• I didn’t make the cheerleading team in junior high school
• I didn’t make the basketball team in junior high school
• I have freckles on my face
• I have a short torso
• History is not my best subject
• I’m not a very good cook
• I’m not good at expressing my feelings sometimes
• I don’t have the best maternal instincts
• In seventh grade, I got a D in Physical Education
• In eighth grade, I got an F in Art
• I don’t know how to whistle
• I don’t know how to swim well
• I peed in my pants when I was in third grade
• I grew up living in a mobile home
• I never went to prom because nobody asked me
• I am insensitive at times
• Sometimes people perceive me as “cold” or aloof
• I have never had a lot of close friends

 

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2) Shine The Light On Your List

All of these things that have been weighing you down are like whiny brats that just want attention.

So, let’s shine the light on them and give them the attention that they want. Then, they will lose their power over you.

• Say them out loud.
• Then, for each item on your list, fill in the blanks in this sentence:
Even though ______________, I completely love and accept myself exactly as I am right now.

For example: Even though nobody ever asked me to prom, I completely love and accept myself exactly as I am right now.

Don’t worry if you feel like you don’t believe the statement when you say it at first. Simple keep repeating it day after day until it feels true for you.

 

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3) Prepare For Your Epic Rap Battle

It’s okay if you don’t like rap music, this will still work for you!

In the final scenes of the movie “8 Mile” starring Marshall Mathers AKA Eminem, Eminem’s character “B Rabbit” faces “Papa Doc” in a climactic championship rap battle.

“Papa Doc” wins the coin toss and chooses to go second. “B Rabbit” starts by laying it all out on the line just like you are going to do.

Here’s an excerpt of his final rap:

I know everything he’s got to say against me,
I am white, I am a ****** bum, I do live in a trailer with my mom,
My boy Future is an Uncle Tom.
I do got a dumb friend named Cheddar Bob who shoots
himself in the leg with his own gun,
I did get jumped by all 6 of you chumps…

… You don’t know what the **** I’ve been through
But I know something about you
You went to Cranbrook, that’s a private school
What’s the matter dawg? You embarrassed?
This guy’s a gangster? His real name’s Clarence
And Clarence lives at home with both parents
And Clarence’s parents have a real good marriage

When he’s finished, “Papa Doc” is speechless. “B Rabitt” essentially took everything that he could use against him and owned it.

Then, he revealed the things that he knew “Papa Doc” didn’t want anyone to know about. It is a superb example of how much power the things that we would rather keep hidden away have on us.

 

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Once you’ve prepared for your rap battle, make a commitment to share some of these things about yourself with someone else. Start with someone you trust and feel safe with. Then, shout it from the rooftops and experience how good it feels to release the power that that these things have had over you.

Know that flaws make you better.

When you are bare, with all of your flaws, secrets and insecurities, you are free. And, you radiate energy that makes people feel that if it is okay for you to be bare and vulnerable, then it is okay for them too.

You will be empowered, you will be light and you will be open to an outrageous array of possibilities that seemed out of reach before.

Go on…make your list, shout it from the rooftops and know that you will sleep better, live more and love more because it!

Please share your list in the comments section. Vulnerability looks sexy on you!

 

About the Author:

Business Photos and Website Photos in Santa BarbaraMichelle Baca is a Speaker, Best-Selling Author and Confidence Coach helping people develop unshakeable confidence, self-esteem, charisma, power and persuasion. She delivers keynote presentations and private and public training sessions on confidence and success. In her childhood and early adulthood, Michelle was very shy and insecure but desperately wanted to be a professional speaker so she immersed herself into personal development and discovered how to generate the confidence that she needed to succeed. She loves sharing the “PowerPractices” that she used to go from “shy girl” to “fly girl” with men and women who want to succeed as bad as they want to breathe. www.michellebacaonline.com

 

 

 

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  • Show Comments (3)

  • Dasha

    Michelle, I love the example from the rap movie. That example real drove it home for me. That IS the only way to be, open about all of who you are! This is inspiring, thank you!!!

  • Steve rapposelli

    This person clearly knows what she is talking about! This article really resonated with me, and even though, I may not be a ‘bad witch’, Ms. Baca now makes me want to look around this website! Are all the articles like hers? If so, I’m in! Thanks for some quality content!

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