by Carrie Jordan
For many feminine-dominant women like me, working with an overly masculine approach at work or in the world doesn’t feel natural, let alone pleasant.
In my life and career I’ve been on a journey of first unconsciously disowning my feminine by way of conditioning, exploring all parts of myself in service of wholeness, and then recommitting to my feminine nature.
I found that the ways in which I disowned my feminine nature were not only unconscious, but also subtle and sneaky.
I also found that when I reclaimed by femininity, I came alive in a way I had not felt in years.
What would the world be like if we all shifted how we value and embody feminine qualities?
What would happen if the world viewed intuition as a real gift that every person possesses?
What would happen if the world recognized that being vulnerable requires great strength and courage?
In service of co-creating a new paradigm, I’m sharing some of the subtle ways that I disowned my feminine nature.
1. You might be disowning your feminine nature if you describe yourself as a hard worker.
The nature of the Divine Feminine is effortlessness.
Think about it: Women are capable of creating life in their bodies effortlessly, with no thought at all.
The body is designed to then effortlessly grows new life from nothing, and once new life is born, the body effortlessly and naturally creates the most nutritional food a baby can consume.
But this effortlessness was lost on me during my upbringing and early career.
As a child, adolescent, and adult, my work and life reinforced the idea that I needed to work hard in order to get good grades and succeed.
In school, I remember even being graded on effort, or how hard I tried—remember the phrase “A for effort”?
Now instead of working hard, I ask myself, what is in flow?
What makes the most impact with the least amount of effort?
What comes easily to me that creates an impact in the world?
This approach to work and life has me feeling softer and more relaxed.
2. You might be disowning your feminine nature if you view your monthly cycles as an inconvenience.
There are many ways we learn to ignore nature’s cycles and our circadian rhythms, the seasons, life and death, and menstrual cycles.
One way I learned to hide and shame my menstrual cycle was that I deeply feared bleeding through my pants.
I learned to go to school or work, pop Advil like candy, and work right through my cycle as if it were nothing. I also learned to exercise right through my cycle.
Now those are not options for me.
In fact, a woman’s moon time is high ceremony.
It is a time to honor the miracles of life and death of waxing, waning, change, and the potential for new life.
We’re shedding the uterine lining that makes the uterus a cushy place for new life to grow, only to begin creating the lining again.
This time is sacred and the height of intuition as messages from the unseen worlds come through.
In ancient times, the blood of a menstruating woman was considered sacred in many cultures.
It was believed to be blood shed as a sacrifice for the people and it was believed to create more fertile soil for an abundant harvest.
When women deny themselves the time to rest, rejuvenate, and receive the messages that come through during the menstrual phase of their cycle, it can show up in other areas of her life.
For example, I realized that I was making myself physically ill by disowning my needs rest and as a result disowning my feminine.
I was over-extending myself in my romantic relationship, my friendships, at work, and generally not honoring myself or believing that I or my needs mattered.
I realized that this was a metaphor for the high ceremony of my moon time.
3. You might be disowning your feminine nature if you manage and repress your emotional experience.
We all have many parts of ourselves, and when we express and give attention to some but not others, it’s akin to favoring our children.
Emotion is an integral part of being human and denying that emotion is like denying our own humanity.
Emotional repression is rampant in our society and we often think we are doing a service to others by protecting them from seeing us and protecting ourselves from being seen.
When I stop myself from feeling or expressing emotion, I am sending myself a subconscious message that my emotional experience doesn’t matter.
In contrast, when I notice and internally acknowledge what I am feeling, I feel at ease.
It’s not always the right time or place to reveal my experience, but at least I am able to feel instead of manage or bypass.
When I am able to reveal what I notice about my emotional experience, I create a deeper sense of intimacy and trust with myself.
When I express my joy, my anger, my sadness, I become more me. I trust me more.
Other people trust me more. I am no longer disowning a part of my femininity or my human experience because I am welcoming all of myself.
4. You might be disowning your feminine nature if you view rest and play as luxuries.
Rest and play are highly productive because they regenerate all of our mental, spiritual, physical, and emotional reserves.
These are not luxuries, they are necessities, and as we learn to honor ourselves, our needs, and desires, we can incorporate more rest and play into our personal and professional lives.
To honor ourselves, we must consider that “My needs are important; I am important.”
What is the body and spirit longing for?
How can we create an opportunity to meet those needs?
5. You might be disowning your feminine nature if your self worth is tied up with how you make money.
We are fundamentally valuable because we exist on this planet. We are children of the divine.
As such, it is blasphemy to say that I am not valuable because I am not making a certain amount of money.
Our unique contributions to and expressions in the world will never exist again.
And yet, it can be easy to fall into the mindset that how much money I make reflects by value as a human.
There have been times where I equated the amount of money in my checking account to how good enough I am as a woman.
When I have a month with fewer sales, a month of “not-enough,” my mindset follows in a downturn.
It really hurts to think these things about myself and even brings tears to my eyes.
Would I say to a friend or someone I love that she isn’t worthy because she didn’t make enough money this month? Never.
And when I bring that same compassion to myself that I would bring to someone I love, I feel more loving and compassionate.
Owning our feminine nature as women is a courageous act.
As we women embrace ease and effortlessness; the sacredness of our blood; our emotions; our needs and longings; and our inherent value, we give others permission to do the same.
This cultural and spiritual shift that calls forth the courageous ones who are willing to co-create a new paradigm for women and for the world.
IN CONCLUSION
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