The Secret Ingredient To Getting What You Want (and it’s not to “think positive”)

    Hello Witches,

    In many metaphysical circles, the answer to the question “How do I do effective manifestation magic?” is a fairly pat one:

    Think positive.
    Act like the thing you want is already here.
    Visualize that you have it.
    Totally believe it will happen, and it will.

    Except of course, when it doesn’t ;)

    The “think positive” school of manifestation magic has an illustrious history, springing out of the New Thought movement in America in the 19th century, and blossoming into massive popular prominence with the publication of The Secret in 2006.

    Rhonda Byrne (the author of The Secret) was a lot less intellectually subtle in making her point than the original New Thought heroes (Ralph Waldo Emerson, Mary Baker Eddy of Christian Science, Charles and Myrtle Fillmore of the Unity Church, to name a few)…

    … and while The Secret leaves me cold, I’ve certainly gleaned plenty of inspiration from those older New Thought works.

    So I don’t want to knock the “positivity” school entirely – having a “can do” attitude is immensely useful, and just about every magical person I know has had delightful experiences of getting “the thing” that they visualized and affirmed for.

    But likewise, just about every magical person I know (and I’ve been in this line of work for awhile – I’ve talked with thousands) has also had plenty of disheartening experiences when “thinking positive” didn’t do jack.

    The New Thought / Law of Attraction crowd doesn’t have much of an answer to this conundrum, other than “well, you must still be dwelling in negativity – think positive HARDER. Have more FAITH.”

    Which to me, just isn’t a satisfying answer.

    By nature, I’m a rather melancholic person. I love to brood. I’m capable of Morrissey-level towering heights of self-pity. I suck at “just having faith.”

    Furthermore, I’m not good at “looking on the bright side.”

    I encountered abuse in childhood, and many of my best friends did too. I’m a bit more Sansa Stark than Gabrielle Bernstein (bless her).

    The world’s glaring injustices stick out rather prominently in my perception, as does my own pain and that of others around me.

    So for a time, I thought perhaps this dark disposition just doomed me to being good “no good” at success magic.

    And then gradually I discovered – through intensive personal experimentation, work with thousands of clients and students, and a long study of Hermeticism, depth psychology, and existentialism while earning my doctorate in Critical and Cultural Studies at the University of Pittsburgh…

    … that it’s possible to undo long-standing painful patterns and create beautiful manifestations in one’s life… (giant increases in income, huge spiritual awakening, finding or re-igniting true love)…

    … not by looking relentlessly for “the silver lining” and making endless Vision Boards…

    … but rather by plunging right into the most foul, nasty bits of one’s life and psyche with freaky gusto.

    In short, the missing secret ingredient to mind-blowing manifestation magic is to learn how to exquisitely relish “the bad stuff” in the world and one’s self.

    It sounds weird, and believe me – it is.

    It’s so weird and against the grain of conventional wisdom that it really helps to have a vibrant community and an experienced teacher with you to learn how to do it.

    And yet it’s not ultimately all that different than growing out of a childhood taste for Kraft Macaroni & Cheese and into an adult appreciation of more complex and piquant flavors – like a tangy gorgonzola or a hard smoky Scotch.

    This ethos lies at the heart of the Existential Kink method of shadow integration that I teach in-depth in my course FORCE OF NATURE …

    Existential Kink is an alchemical approach to creating profound joyful change…

    … that doesn’t ask you to slap a smiley face on the steaming piles of shit in your world, but rather one that shows you exactly how to use that shit for the amazing fuel that it is.

    It’s a trademarked process, and it’s massively different than anything you’ll hear about anywhere else.

    I’ll have a lot more to say about Existential Kink (EK for short) and this work of diving with gusto into “the nasty bits” over the next few weeks, so stay tuned.

    In the meantime, get a dose of uplift by checking out one of my very favorite Emerson essays – The Over-Soul. It really puts Ms. Byrne’s literary skillz (or lack thereof) in perspective.

    love and villainy,

    Carolyn Elliott

    founder of WITCH

    P.S. So I can serve you better, I’d love to know:

    What’s the one area of your life that you would love to magically fix… like yesterday?

    Click one of the options below to tell me…

    1. My love life! – I want to find an amazing partner, or feel more deeply in love & connected to my current one.
    2. My finances – I want to land my dream job, get a raise, or just make more money.
    3. My spiritual life – I want to feel MAGIC in my everyday life & boost my psychic abilities.
    4. My health – I want to feel healthy, vibrant, or heal my chronic health issues.
    5. None of the above! – I love my life & I just want to hone my magical practices.


    featured image via Pexels



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