by Demelza Fox
My Hero? Well, she ain’t no president of the United States. She isn’t a world peace leader, a pop singer, a spiritual guru or a member of the Kardashian family.
She is, however, a badass witch to boot.
She is Morticia Addams, and in my opinion she is the most inspiring, most fabulous role model for any fierce witchy woman today.
Why you ask? Let’s go.
1. She is only, completely herself.
Morticia Addams embraces her strange like no other.
She is an utter outcast in the town where she lives: the normals don’t understand her witchy ways, dark aesthetic and brazen sexuality.
She is fascinated by the occult, sex and death, chaos and ruin. (A total Scorpio if there ever was one!)
She is shamelessly strange, openly unusual, happily macabre.
She is such an inspiration for those of us who live on the wilder side of the tracks, who sometimes feel like we have to hide who we are to fit in with those around us.
She never hides. She is proud to be who she is. She refuses to let others dictate what is and what is not allowed.
2. What’s more, she gives no fucks what the Normals think.
Morticia knows that the people around her are not like her. She knows that her neighbours are not like her. She knows that the other mothers at her daughter’s school are not like her.
Does she care?
To Morticia all the muggles are strange and senseless. She pities them, trapped in their soulless little pastel coloured lives, doing whatever they can to censor themselves and fit in.
3. Morticia surrounds herself with Her People
Morticia gathers her family and friends around her – her tribe, who think like she does, who relish and adore the darkness the same way she does. Sure, she might be a little unusual, but she has a whole network of unusual people just like her to love and support her. Those are the people who count.
Why would Morticia court the company of those who cannot see her for the magnificent woman she is?
4. Morticia Addams is sexy as fuck
How much sex are Morticia and Gomez having? More than the rest of us I bet.
Morticia knows the deep, deep pleasure of a passionate partnership, if you get what I mean.
She and Gomez can’t keep their hands off each other no matter where they are: in their house, at the school, in the car, at the auction house, even while being tortured…
It’s amazing, they never stop having sex to be honest.
Life seems to be one endless game of foreplay to them.
In fact, Morticia and Gomez are so renowned for being such great lovers, you can buy Saint Candles of them on Etsy.
Who doesn’t want a relationship as full of passion as theirs?
5. She is not afraid of a little darkness
It’s the Addams Family Secret, I think, that happiness lies in relishing the bad as much as the good.
Nothing is off limits in this family.
Sex, death, torture, greed, gluttony, each sin is celebrated and cherished. All the “bad” aspects of the family are encouraged and loved.
There is no shame.
She takes pleasure in the scheming, petty struggles of others, even if it’s against her.
She respects the greedy, grasping nature of her enemies.
This family is all Slytherin, and they love it.
“Gomez: Midnight, moonlight, surrounded by death…
Morticia: It’s been too long.”
6. She’s all woman
I don’t know about you, but when I was a kid I thought i’d grow up and be… well, grown up. You know?
I remember watching all those old movies with Bette Davies and Katharine Hepburn and seeing all these fabulous, womanly, glamorous, capable grown ass ladies getting on with their grown-ass lives.
Well, that didn’t really happen to me.
I feel like exactly the same person I have always been since I was a kid, only now I’ve got boobs and have to worry about tax.
Morticia though? She RELISHES in her grown ass womanhood. She’s not someone you could ever call a girl. She is all woman, make no mistake.
I’m not just talking about her heightened sense of glamour. I’m talking about her other fabulous grown-ass qualities.
She is a dynamite host, wether she is hosting a ball or a seance. She’s a bit of a magical party planner too. She sees what needs to be done and does it. She has this sense of poise and centredness which is incredible. I want to be like her when I grow up.
7. She’s the most glamorous bitch in town
Darling, need I explain?
Morticia is always immaculately dressed in her her own signature dark style, blood-red claws and freshly-bitten lips to go, and she’s not making compromises for anyone.
When she goes to a play at her children’s school, even when she’s at the Job Centre, Morticia lives her own sense of vampy style. Does she tone down the boobs because she is teaching kindergarten? Never!
She has her own sense of beauty that runs completely counter to everyone else, and she rocks it no matter what.
She’s like a witchy Dita von Teese, and I like it.
8. You don’t want to fuck with this bitch.
Morticia is elegant, graceful, glamorous, and ladylike. But mess with her and you are liable to… well, frankly, be cut up into tiny pieces and scattered across town.
Morticia is determined and fierce. She’s not a woman to be fucked with. She’s not afraid to pull out the little black book of curses if needs be.
She doesn’t care who dislikes her, who resents her, who hates her.
She’s not afraid to be tortured either. In fact, she’ll probably enjoy it…
9. Morticia is holding it up for the sisterhood.
Women come and go in the Addams Family Household, but Morticia’s sisterly support is unparallelled, even towards her enemies. She is just such an elegant bitch.
Remember what I said earlier about pitying the muggles?
That doesn’t mean that she is anything less than a lady in her interactions with them. I like to think that Morticia sees a little bit of darkness in everyone, waiting for the right moment to blossom.
She respects other women immensely, even when they are nothing like her, even when they do things that upset her.
Consider her response to Uncle Fester’s new gold-digging wife, who has forced Uncle Fester to agree to never see his family ever again and caused her family to fall apart:
She is respectful to every woman who enters her house and treats them as her equal no matter how normal they are, how much they don’t understand her, or even how much they dislike her.
She sees the power inherent in every woman and honours it.
Morticia is a powerful woman who demands nothing less than true passion and the ability to be herself, completely, wholly, truly, always – and to host a mean seance when the situation arises.
So Cheers, Morticia. Here’s to you, you glamorous witch.
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About the Author:
Demelza Fox is a Mermaid Priestess, an Artist, a Dancer, a Professional Mermaid and a lover of peanut butter. She teaches peeps about Goddess, writes fab e-courses about connecting with your bad-ass mermaid spirit, and teaches dance internationally. Additionally she loves playing the Ukulele, expensive breakfast cereal, all the animals and…. Gary Oldman as Dracula. Sssssh. You can learn more about her work and get mo’ mermaid at her website Rockstar Priestess, pop on over and say Hi on Facebook or join our mermaid coven at the Mermaid Sisterhood.
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