by Ellie Pierpoint
Every one of us is on a spiritual path, some of us just don’t know it yet. I imagine because you’re here, that you are one of the aware – congrats!
But you probably still doubt yourself at times – “I forgot to meditate”, “My life is a mess”, “I ate a ton of cheese” – we’ve all been there.
Yet despite these moments of self-doubt, you are transforming.
So quit pretending, cos honey you are exactly where you need to be. Here’s how I know…
1. Your mind is broadening
Once upon a time you were part of the crowd.
You listened to the charts and read glossy magazines, lived for the next episode of trashy TV and even dabbled in tabloid politics, but lately none of that seems to appeal anymore, and you wonder if you were ever really that into it to begin with.
You can see through the charade of society; your eyes are opening.
After all that time feeling separate, you can now sense the connection to the collective mind – everyone is just like you.
You’ve developed a wicked liberal streak and an intense desire to change the world, or at least try harder to not be one of the ones fucking it up.
2. You’ve stopped trying to label things
Despite wondering if you’re just another basic witch, you’ve had some weird experiences in your time and synchronicity seems to follow you everywhere.
Your mind is constantly peeking behind the veil and you’re pretty sure you’ve had at least a couple encounters with “enlightenment” already.
But the thing is, you don’t feel the need to determine exactly what it all means anymore – all that duality stuff is hard work – and even if you wanted to describe some of your brushes with spirit, it would be like trying to explain the colour purple to a blind man, he’s probably not gonna get it.
Recognising that all enlightened experiences are completely subjective is key, and the more you stop trying to categorise them, the more they come.
No expectations. No judgements. No attachments.
3. But you still notice EVERYTHING
Your newly heightened awareness means that details don’t escape you – people’s moods, motives, reasons, changes in air pressure.
You’re like a cross between a spooky Derren Brown and Sherlock Holmes.
NOTHING escapes your laser sharp perception.
If someone has an ulterior motive, you hear it in their voice, if they lie to you, your gut screams you the truth.
People find it off-putting to have you notice so goddam much about them so you’ve learnt to keep it to yourself, which often means you end up walking around biting your lip while everyone else subtly insults each other for ego sport.
Which brings us onto the next point…
4. You don’t quite fit in
Going to a normal 9-5 office job is soul destroying for you, and it’s not just the work that is to blame, you just aren’t like everyone else.
You struggle with shallow chitchat and dread the seasonal office party. You’d rather be at home with a good book than knocking back gin and tonics to take the edge off.
It’s really not your colleagues’ fault, they’re nice enough, it’s just you aren’t on the same wavelength and trying to balance the thin line between being the weird one who never comes out and “one of the team” is frankly exhausting.
5. You’d rather hang out with trees
Just like your magickal ancestors before you, the woods seem to call to you.
Given the choice between hanging out in the forest all day or shopping with your peers, you know you’d always take the trees over cheap tat and guilty pleasures any day.
It’s not that you don’t enjoy shopping and wine and gossip, it’s just that you also need something more, something deeper, and usually that means you’ve got to go get it by yourself.
But being alone doesn’t bother you, in fact you need that solo time to recharge, and maybe even hug a tree or two. You’re not weird, it’s just that nature often has a way of making you feel more alive than hanging out with people just for the sake of it.
6. You’re losing friends
Let’s face it, you’ve changed. You’ve spent enough time with your life under the magnifying glass now to know who you are, and that is someone very different to who you once were.
Your friends will be the first to notice this change, and they might not get it (and not just for the tree hugging).
Maybe you’ve drifted apart or ended in confrontation, but like a serpent shedding its skin, you will evolve, leaving your past identity behind you and shifting into a bigger, better version of you.
And you know the best part about it?
Deep down, you’re totally digging the new you – friends or no friends.
7. You’re confused
All this inner change has been creeping up on you, and now you feel trapped.
It’s like you’ve moved on mentally, but your physical life has stayed the same, filled with endless struggle, boredom and frustration.
Well, actually this is great news (hear me out).
The “Dark Night of the Soul” is a term coined by 16th-century poet and Roman Catholic mystic, Saint John of the Cross, for the heavy drowning feeling many people get after extensive spiritual work, and while it certainly ain’t fun, it’s definitely progress.
You’ve been trudging up your past and healing old wounds, you’re becoming more free, but your dwindling ego isn’t too pleased about that and is putting up a last fight in an attempt to sabotage you.
Let the suffering in, embrace it, accept it, move past it. Know that it is illusion.
8. But you still have a wicked sense of humour
Have you ever watched an interview with the Dalai Llama? He’s an absolute riot. Him and his other Buddhist buddies are serious jokers, probably because they perceive less struggle so their internal dialogue is quietened, and when your mind isn’t creating drama, you can lighten up enough for a chuckle.
So while you’re definitely not all “love & light”, you can always have a good old belly laugh at yourself and the ridiculous world we live in.
9. And ain’t nobody gonna hold you down
You are an eternal being of endless glory and you know it, so it’s nigh on impossible to stop you on your quest through life.
This may have manifested itself as being stubborn or stuck up in the past, but now you know it’s just being true to yourself.
This comes with a huge amount of responsibility – you have the key to your life, you control your thoughts.
Because of this, you try to avoid those with bad ju-ju and are continually working on transforming your own energies. You don’t really even need to explain this anymore, people just seem to sense that no matter what they do, you are unshakeable.
So keep up the good work my enlightened friend, and remember, you are exactly where you should be…
IN CONCLUSION
If this essay resonates with you, please join our WITCH email list by using the forms on this website so we can stay in touch.
About the Author:
Featured image: Alchemical Transmutation of the Cosmic Self by TravisAitch