The more I put myself out there, the more I seem to get deliveries of Haterade. 

    Source: Urban Dictionary

    This can be expected. Weak people don’t like to see others fully expressed, so they sent little packages of hate in an attempt to bring the other crab back down.

    Crabs are the original trolls. (Source:

    The most common excuse I see for people not expressing their greater selves is the Fear of Haterade.

    Haterade (a.k.a. criticism) is actually a good sign for the creative person. It’s proof that what you have to say it potent enough to draw a reaction.

    But that doesn’t mean it can’t hurt.

    Haterade is what ancient esoterics might call black magick or evil spells. To the uninformed, it can rattle around in the creative’s head, blocking all creative potential.

    The ability handle Haterade is kind of a right of passage for anyone who wants to impact people with his of her thoughts.

    If you can learn how to neutralize Haterade, not only will you be able to maintain peace of mind while expressing your creativity, you’ll also heighten your creativity.

    Nothing gets the truth serum pumping like an intellectual adversary. The trick is to know how to alchemize that hate so it doesn’t poison you.

    Here is a four-step procedure that has allowed me to maintain creative integrity and actually welcome haters.

    Step 1: Buy Local Honey

    Any unrefined honey will do, but local honey allegedly has trace amounts of local allergens that will help calm your allergies.

    Step 2: Recognize the Other’s Pain

    If someone is hating, it’s because they are having a rough time with their own pain. They are externalizing their pain on to you because it offers them a little relief. It may or may not actually have anything to do with you.

    The biggest play would be to have compassion for that person’s pain. I often find I can flip my trolls onto my team by simple validating their pain point first.

    The key here is that you don’t get reactive and feel you need to defend your own pain. Then it becomes a game of tit for tat. (This back and forth pain-externalization is the cause of most violent war and Internet arguments.)

    Step 3: Love Thyself

    Even if you know where their hate is coming from, it still might hurt.

    If you are in battle with skilled trolls, they might actually bring up some valid points, or at least try to dig into your insecurities. It’s totally normal to have a reaction of someone calling you a name or perverting your ideas.

    But if Haterade has infected you to the degree that you’re afraid to keep expressing yourself, it’s because their hate attached itself your own self-loathing.

    If you loved yourself 100% there would be nothing to stick on. Haterade needs a host. When it works it’s because some part of you agrees.

    The way to make yourself immune to Haterade infection is to love yourself.

    Yeah, it sounds like a pansy thing to say. But the toughest, most alpha/badass/actualized people that we all admire really love themselves.

    To love yourself doesn’t mean to proclaim that you’re the best. Narcissism and delusions of grandeur are actually a way to compensate for a lack of self-love.

    To really love yourself means to approve of everything about you; Your virtues, but also your flaws, your failures, your mistakes, and errors.

    And if you can love yourself even at your worst, nothing a troll or critic says can possibly infect your psyche.

    (This is also the solution your insecurities.)

    Step 4: Enjoy the fight. But don’t bother with winning.

    I have some polarizing ideas. The more I share them, the more love and hate I get for them. And the more I get people to really think, the more virile I feel.

    Literally. I have a theory that my recent intellectual battles have been increasing my testosterone, as noted by certain studies. [Viz: The Winner Effect]

    There’s one lesson I learned in boxing that has heavily contributed to my writing ability:

    When you know judgment is against you, bite down on your mouthpiece and go for a knockout.

    This do-battle mindset has resulted in my highest quality writings and video appearances.

    But the point of going for a knockout isn’t to “win”. There is no real winning.[1]

    Most of our ideological wars (i.e. Democrat vs. Republican, Vegan vs. Paleo, Butter-Side-Up vs. Butter-Side-Down) will never be resolved because they are based on abstractions and there will never be a clear resolution.

    The Butter Battle Book by Dr. Seuss

    But the conflict of two sides is what we humans need. We need tension to be entertained.

    My spiritual belief is that this entertainment is the whole point of the human experience. None of this really matters; We’ll all be dead soon anyway. So we might as well enjoy the ups and downs of life.

    Step 5: Eat Local Honey

    Honey does nothing for you if you leave in the jar. So eat it with a spoon. Put it in your tea. Lather it on the top or the bottom of your bread.

    If you’re vegan, please let this one slide. Honey is delicious, and this is way better than the alternative procedure involving lamb’s blood.

    Expressing yourself brings haters. Telling the truth brings trouble.

    Telling the truth will bring trouble. But I find it’s most beneficial, to not only avoid trouble, but to bring it to trouble. [Viz: How to Engage With Your Problems]

    If you can learn how to neutralize Haterade, you’ll not only be able handle criticism, but you’ll be able to use it to further your creative potential.

    Bring it.

    [1] Ok, yes sometimes ideologies do win. And that’s not always good. Our history books have been written by history’s winners. Which is why much of what we know of the past is skewed. Often it’s good to leave your opponent alive, if only to keep you in check.


    • Ruwan writes, coaches, and makes videos to have people create their desired external reality through exploring their internal world. He is also a feature filmmaker, host of an upcoming Spoiled Media TV Show on mindful sexuality, and teaches a course on Sex Transmutation.