7 smart reasons to ditch “Who’s the Fairest of Them All?” for good

    by Lauren Malloy

    “Who’s the fairest of them all?”

    Nothing messed with my mind more than this phrase.

    It took years to realize it though. I started seeing it in other women and naming it in my head.

    I felt how women changed as they saw another woman who they perceived as being more beautiful than they were.

    I could feel their brilliant energy constrict as they wistfully wished they could be more like this person.

    This extended to anything—relationships, careers, clothes, popularity—of all kinds (number of friends, or Facebook likes).

    It was as if two people couldn’t both be beautiful, successful, happy at the same time.

    This phrase, implanted into my subconscious mind when I was so young, had me believe that only one person was allowed to experience or be those things.

    And then one day I held up the mirror and saw how much that phrase had affected me. I thought that I was not enough when I saw someone who I sensed was or had (what I perceived as) more than me.

    This reaction caused me to revisit old thought patterns that did not serve to create something new and desirous in my life.

    Awareness, however, is the spark of change.

    In this spirit, I offer the following 7 expansive thought forms to say farewell to The Fairest One of All and witness the beauty that’s in each of us.

    1. We are all different, and all beautiful

    This is an ancient and somewhat forgotten idea, but we are all part of nature.

    And nature is undisputed beauty.

    When we look at mountains, we don’t compare their beauty, we just know each is breathtaking, in its own way and form.

    We notice this most in snowflakes. We revel in the fact that they are all different! We don’t say “this one is more beautiful than that one”. We are delighted that they are all unique and we recognize that they are all gorgeous.

    It’s the same with us. Beauty isn’t only bestowed upon some. We are all different. And we are all uniquely beautiful.

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    2. Broadcasting your authentic vibration stokes your innate beauty

    Everything is energy, including us.

    The more we let this knowledge impress itself upon us, the more we can let our energy flow freely.

    Good, unrestrained energy will do more than just highlight your beauty, but that’s for another time.

    You’re always aware of a person’s energy, which is why you’re not surprised when someone snaps at you or tells you they love you. We read people’s energy with our own.

    You can see it on someone’s face. When they are feeling and flowing good energy, their features are softened, their face glows, they are connected to something more.

    When your energy is aligned, you appear as more of yourself and the more your natural beauty shines.

    3. Elevated emotions deepen beauty

    Emotions precede how our energy manifests.

    The happier we are, the more turned on we are, the more beautiful we are. The more our beauty shines through.

    You know this. Think of a time when you were wearing an amazing outfit and you looked great but inside you felt this inner alignment which caused you to feel alive, lit up, connected.

    Didn’t you attract more people? Weren’t you more confident? Didn’t you just feel good?

    You can choose how to feel.

    And when you cultivate love, joy, compassion and appreciation, you look stunning.

    4. Love is an alluring action

    The most powerful emotion to feel is love. When you feel love, you look lit up and gorgeous. Don’t people in love look exceptionally radiant and alive?

    Love though, means many things to us, which can be confusing.

    The simple way to understand love is this:

    To Love is to be happy with.

    Love starts with loving yourself.

    Your face, your body, your hair, your relationship, your clothes—they are all external.

    The more you love your Whole Self and form a connection with your Source/Spirit and feel love from it, the more you will glow.

    And when you feel love as you see another beautiful person, you’ll want them to succeed. This energy will create miracles in your life. More on that in a bit.

    5. Connection to Spirit lights you up

    The most powerful way to align your energy is to join with your Higher Self.

    We are physical, mental and spiritual beings.

    There is no better way to heighten your inborn beauty than to hook into your Spirit.

    As you connect to the highest part of yourself over and over again, creating new neural pathways, you’ll find your physical features changing, your face softening.

    And you will appear luminous. Because you’re connected to your Source and your Spirit is shining through. You are being all of who you are.

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    6. The Universe is lavish

    There is more than enough for everyone, including beauty!

    There is a teaching that I received from a mentor that says taking a piece of (the Universal) pie just causes the pie to increase. Meaning that there is no end to what the Universe can provide.

    The idea is that the pie exists as unseen energy, it hasn’t appeared in physical reality yet.

    This pie is not fixed and the lesson is not to be jealous with what someone else has created and received.

    Instead, use their creation to get excited about the potential of your own.

    When you live and create in appreciation and joy, you will receive expanding portions of the ever-growing vibrational pie.

    7. We are all One

    The truth is we are not separate from each other—we are all connected.

    Our energy expands out from our body to the ends of the Universe.

    We tend to think that we are apart from everything, but the nature of energy means that we are all entwined and One…with each other, with nature and with the Universe.

    So, thinking ill of you affects me. And rooting for you is like rooting for myself.

    The magic in this truth is that when I want the best for you, I get it too.

    As you integrate these thought forms, may you live as the fullest expression of who you are—the beauty that you are, the innovator that you are, the genius that you are, the creator that you are. Much love to you.


    ~Boundless Beauty~

    I breathe in smoothly and deeply as I take in the shape of your eyes, nose, mouth

    The subtle way your energy weaves in and around your features and body

    Beauty that is different from mine

    It’s incandescent; engaging

    I’m thrilled to feel that it enhances mine

    Plays off of it

    As I drink in your beauty

    I see, feel and behold my own

    Reveling in its uniqueness

    Joyful in its distinct expression

    Having me expand in play and radiance and sisterly love

    Seeing the beauty in all things

    Yours and mine included.




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    About the Author:

    Lauren Malloy is a certified coach and spiritual teacher of relationship, love + sex; she’s also a Poet, Huntress of Desires and PSYCH-K®Facilitator. She works with people are who ready to create magic in their relationship with themselves, their partners, their purpose and life. She leads workshops around NYC on the Divine Masculine + Feminine, where you’ll experience how to turn on your life using the most essential ingredient: You. Connect with her at www.laurenmalloy.com and lauren@laurenmalloy.com.


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