by Nandi Hetenyi
When I was a little girl, I used to talk to the moon all the time.
No matter what phase, no matter what her face. No matter what time of day, I always seemed to manage to find her in the sky.
I thought that the moon was the face of God and the rain were tears sending down salt to cleanse our wounds, the water to grow trees out of our hearts.
My first online handle was Moongirl75. I wore a crescent around my neck. It seems like a realm for children, but I think it is just that as children we always know and that innocence isn’t naïve.
I loved playing in the light of the shadow of the moon. It’s the light around the shadow that lets us know the shadow is there. Shadow is not darkness, there is no shadow in the darkness.
It’s almost like this shadow is an in-between space we are meant more to inhabit but were conditioned to feel afraid of.
The shadow, we are taught, is a scary place where we put all the things we don’t want to see or know or heal about ourselves.
But, wouldn’t we put that in the darkness? Isn’t it less that we fear the shadow but what we might see if we turn the light on in the dark?
The shadow is a mix of the light and the dark, a dancing in-between, just like us, embodying the light of the divine and the dark mystery of the earth and moon. There is nothing to be afraid of.
This is the moon’s medicine.
There is always a time to rise, a time to fall, a time to persist and a time to surrender.
The moon’s prayer is one of balance and heart, honoring the mystery as much as the drive for rational knowledge.
We are an embodiment of this great in-between. We must persist in remembering that the mysteries are also a part of who we are.
Sometimes the mystery lies in the forgetting because when we forget, it makes the remembering more valuable. Then, we can no longer take the mystery, or any of its gifts, for granted.
We must lose our connection and find the re-connection in order to really savor, understand and live in an honoring devotion and appreciation to the reality and truth that this mysterious life presents to us.
To really honor the universe as a drop within us expressed as our soul. We forget to remember and then appreciate it. Then, we get it. None of it matters until we are ready to get it.
I remember this whenever I forget. It is a part of the cycle, to forget and it helps me to let go. Holding on creates struggle and when there is struggle there is no understanding.
It becomes hard for the love to get in. The time for us all in the forgetting is what is only for us to know and discover. We are each on our own course through time.
It ebbs and flows as we do. There is always more. There is always a great emptiness. And, our soul is always there. The moon is always there.
The solid ground of this earth is always there. Our hearts are pulling us to root down, to sync with the heartbeat of the earth.
That yearning to connect with something greater than ourselves, to feel safe feeling all the feels, to speak the truth and know the difference between fear from wounding and the fear of stepping more into wholeness. They feel the same, but they are not.
We are all consciously or unconsciously moving towards our wholeness, like the moon is always moving closer and farther away from herself.
The mysteries live in the in-between, the spaces we are meant to inhabit and embody as we dance and move in this infinity loop of life, always recalibrating that center point.
Find the way to the heart of your heart and love the bones of your bones. Feel the sacred craving the comfort of your own skin. Howl at the moon. Your tears are prayers. Your heart,holy ground. Your soul, a sacred drop of the universe living as you.
If this essay resonates with you, please join our WITCH email list by using the forms on this website so we can stay in touch.
About the Author:
Dr. Nandi Hetenyi is a shamanic healer, grief midwife, writer, teacher and soul whisperer. She received her doctorate in clinical psychology from CIIS in addition to spending over 15 years studying and practicing Buddhism, yoga, meditation, shamanic journey, ritual, energy healing and personal growth. She envisions a world where we feel comfortable in our own skins and are happy about being a human. You can follow Dr. Hetenyi on Instagram and find out more about her work on her website, www.sacredalchemyhealing.com.
featured image source