by Bara Queenbee
You know how it goes…. Everywhere you turn, everyone will tell you, that in order to become successful (in whatever kind of form), you have to make sacrifices, walk the path of discomfort, balance on a line of precious time where you work really, really……really hard.
And I call bullshit on this: I call bullshit on the limited words “working hard”. As it contains the verb of an “activity” one needs to complete with an adjective to describe its intensity.
You see, when I think of the description “working hard”, I think of physical, sweaty human bodies who are going through an intense physical process of a specific activity in order to get a specific result.
Eventhough this might be the case in certain situations and context, we all know that “working hard” often does not consist of above-said scenario.
I finally realized what this “working hard” that people speak of, means to me.
What makes the path to success such hard work? What makes the stairs to richness so excruciating to walk as it feels like your mind has a weight of its own and it is not attached, affected nor defined by any natural laws we seem to know in this dimension?
And finally realizing and learning the answer to this was both liberating as well as painfully confronting, as most of the magic is in our everlasting dualistic reality is.
You see, it is not the activity we have to perform in order to level up. We all know the next step very well.
We all *know* very well what we have to do next in order to get closer to our goal. We live in a time where information, chances and opportunities almost drown us, so this is not the part of working hard “they” are speaking of.
And after an intense process that I walked through with a spiritual life coach, practicing magic and putting in the mundane work, it became clear to me.
It became crystal clear why to me, leveling up always feels like climbing Mount Everest in freaking flip-flops.
It’s the process of winning the war that our Inner Critic has unleashed upon us.
It’s the fight of trying to hush the flood of extreme dark realities we have fallen victim to. This dark creature, who we have somehow invited for a never-ending cup of coffee in our mind, makes this all feel like it is very hard work.
The murderous but subtle voice of our Inner Saboteur, that has been talking to us on days when its voice has been all we could hear.
Whether being surrounded by actual whispers of true love or laying defeated and alone, feeling this voice being the only truth and outcome we might ever live.
The Inner Saboteur that will tell you, “there is no point in taking the next step”. Seductlively looking you in the eye, ”you are not cut out for this.”
Telling you this life, “you will have to accept that this time you are not made for greatness”.
It will tell you steady and confident; either shouting at you or in whispers of sad emotions:
“You are too this or too that”, or, “you do not have what it takes” will the mind carousel go.
And once it caught track, and we have chosen to listen to it, it becomes like a broken record of our life, always playing in the background.
Did you see what word I used? That’s right, “chosen”, as this is the only dominant cause and verb that we actively have to perform.
There are enough studies, and even more evidence of people and situations to show us, that life is all about making choices.
We are not victims, nor a product of our circumstances. No matter how convincing that voice tells us that we are.
We are not a series of patterns and programs that are carved into our brain like wheels that are trying to get out of the pre-carved road ahead of us.
The wheels, the path and the road are all a product of the Inner Saboteur. And The Inner Critic that will use whatever necessary and will walk ALL the extra miles to make you overthink, create and waste time; analyzing, calculating and drowning you in scenarios and beliefs with just one purpose:
Keep. You. From. Moving.
You see, we are cursed and blessed (again that beautiful duality) with this element we have in our 3d dimension: time.
And in whatever direction we choose to move, we will create huge momentum towards it, building a reality with reoccurring and self-inflicted evidence.
If we let time pass and choose to walk the path that our Inner Saboteur has laid down for us, we will find ourselves in a world where that will be our reality.
However, the beauty goes both ways; if we choose to use the momentum of continuous choices that will bring us closer to our goal, we will see evidence of it pop up everywhere around us, anywhere we go.
There is just one thing that we need to do:
Make a choice. And GO!
With the knowledge that it is going to be highly uncomfortable. Not physically. Not realistically. We will never actually be in danger, no matter how confident and real the voice of the Inner Saboteur will be.
So these will be my last words: after years of listening and inviting the Inner Saboteur into my life, I am making the choice of not giving my power away to her anymore.
I am choosing actively, that this will be the only “hard work” there is……. The choice of moving forward, regardless of everything this joyous club of Inner Critic and Saboteur tell me.
The rest of it? Oh, that’s the easiest part.
It’s the part where all you have to do is show up.
Open your awareness, open your senses and go.
See you at your next level! <3
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About the Author:
Bara Queenbee is a fierce redhead from the farmlands of East Europe, currently living in “sin city” Amsterdam. With a colorful history in the world of motorcycles, then a turnaround into the domain of Magic and BDSM, performing and fetishism, she now works as Witch Dominatrix. Experiencing life as much as possible by traveling, exploring and questioning everything! On a journey of soulsearching with all its exciting adventures, sharing all that comes with this. Extreme hobbies, a life of contrast, walking and working with Babalon, one flip-flop-mountain-walk at a time. You can find her on Facebook and Instagram.
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