7 Phases of a Woman’s Becoming – The Heroine’s Journey Home

    by Lauren Wallett

    Dear One, born to overcome, discover and recover.

    Rebella, beautiful rebel, on your journey of return…

    Here are 7 phases of a heroine’s becoming.

    (Wherever you are, Hello, from the darkness between Stage II and III…)

    I The beginning

    Phase One: She  

    “Control: a nasty little trick. It works for you, while you in turn, work for it.”

    The girl self imprisoned. Kept safe by her choice of control cage. Her eating disorder, abusive relationship, marriage, addiction.

    Any / all  result in the same result, a powerless sense of impending doom. A ‘this isn’t it’ feeling.

    Coupled with the disbelief  that anything other is possible. Unless she grants her own permission to step away from her choice of control.

    When she reaches ‘Maybe if…’ she’s already on the pathway to the rabbit hole.

    ‘She’ surrenders herself to the possibility of something other than…

    Phase Two: Becoming

    Her chrysalis. Lost in the unknown, her transformation has begun. She shed’s her skin again and again.

    Let go of personas, personalities and principles. All that no longer serves her process of becoming. Fragile and fierce, she’s in the canal of re-birth.

    Welcome to the messy, muddy middle… we’re about to turn up the heat.

    II The burn down

    Phase Three: Eve

    “I bit the apple”

    image source

    It’s time for her exodus from Eden.

    Upon surrendering her false sense of control, she tasted the possibility of real freedom. Stage one prepared her to leave the garden.

    We revisit our Eve phase when we can no longer ignore that we know there is more for us. She’s tasted truth and now thirst for it.

    Abandoning her comfort zone, she says Goodbye to a metaphorical (or literal) Adam. And steps into the unknown once more.

    Phase Four: Lilith

    Warning: not for the faint of heart. When you welcome Lilith, reality as you know it will dissolve. Lilith takes it all in and swallows. Welcome to rage, to pain and wild rebellion.

    No more good ‘should’ girl.

    Now All Woman who takes what she wants without concern of consequence.

    When Lilith enters, Kali is close by. Radical change to sweep you off your feet and throw you deep into a tidal wave of churning emotional rage.

    You’re in the eye of the storm and a tornado of chaos surrounds you. Perspectives shift, and reality as you know it tilts. Hold on for your dear old life, it’s stormy weather for a while.

    As the flames engulf you, submit to them. You can no longer outrun the burning. Your life is up in flames… dance in the fire.

    Phase Five: Witch

    The ultimate feminist icon: Witch.

    Alone in the woods, making magical potions and gathering in covens. Let them judge. “Man hater!” they’ll say cowering in terror of the fire – a remnant flickering in your bright eyes.

    You’ve seen things, you know things now. And there is power in your ‘knowingness’.  Intuition shaped by the storm is sharpened on the rough rocks of a painful but unavoidable past.

    You’ve been in preparation your whole life. A time bending, shape shifting, magical warrior witch who’s transmuted her pain into power.

    An internal elixir to yield external intentional manifestations. Now under the moonlight, we gather the others to play…

    Here we are rewarded with remembering: we were never alone.

    image source

    III The birth

    Phase Six: Goddess

    Glorious Goddess, majestic in her birthright. She stands tall, head tilted upwards, palms upturned, channeling spirit, in service of others.

    Cleansed after the fire, with a purity of peace surrounding her.

    She shares her gifts with the world. In grace state of plentiful abundance, she inhales gratitude and exhales possibilities. In her moments of highest truth, she reflects the best version of us.

    Her vibration is glowing white light. The culmination of the kaleidoscopic colours, the inter-woven fabric of her make up. Her frequency is ever-present. Transcendence.

    She is the ultimate gift of ‘as is now’ joy state. Her desires are in harmony with her co-created reality.

    With the world in her hands, glory be to the Goddess.

    Phase Seven: Me

    “I am”

    Me is the she that has become herself. She’s reached herself.

    Remembered who she always was and revealed her true nature to the world. It is the point of return.

    The always, all stages in circular perpetuity. Empowered instead of owned by her emotions, everything flows through her, whatever comes. ‘Me’ is the ‘she’ that has reclaimed her body as her own. Redefined her contribution to the world.

    From a courageous act of wild rebellion, to a sustainable, self generating creative revolution. Real ‘me’ is the culmination. Complex, and more interesting than any of the separate ‘she’s that fought for prime position in life’s performance of fitting in.

    Me, who always was and always is, beneath the surface, beyond the seas of sadness and the fires of rage. Quietly just me, ‘I am’.

    The Inversion

    The secret key to unlock the phases of the stages is the Inversion. The upside down A pointing to the direction: inward. The divine feminine, the scared Yoni, the entry point.

    The deep inner wounding that keeps us locked in, bottled up, hiding instead of revealing. Castrated instead of liberated.

    Our fear, collectively unifying but shamefully isolating. That keeps us in hiding.

    The part we deemed as sinful. Our straight-jacketed ‘crazy’. The something that holds us back.

    Our sexual shame. Our trauma. Whatever that is.

    We address our sexual shame: the trauma, abuse, the misused power. The secrets that keep us sick inside. That sore at the centre of the the sadness.

    Something so dark and terrifying, we do anything to blindly look away, distracting ourselves from it.

    Only then do we unlock and start to discover. To overcome. Our recovery process begins here. Our reclamation is our greatest rebellion.

    All progress is through processing. Immersion into the inversion. And after the triumph of our journey, our celebration through our creative revolution, our life work… then we allow ourselves to arrive, home.



    If this essay resonates with you, please join our WITCH email list by using the forms on this website so we can stay in touch.


    About the Author:

    Lauren is a witch native to So​u​th Africa, now living in Hollywood. She’s the creator of Malva Academy. Her online program Witches Rehab officially opens on 24th December 2018. For details click here. Discover more on Instagram or Facebook!


    featured image source



    You May Also Like

    IN LOVE AND WAR ~ VENUS Rx IN ARIES – March 3rd-April 15th, 2017

    During this Venus retrograde period, learn to embrace and embody higher levels of Venusian ...

    Rise of a Phoenix – Puppetry, Prisons and Pangs of Awakening

    You're a Phoenix, fire is your element. Let it burn away the crap. Let ...

    RULE MY WORLD~FULL MOON IN TAURUS-November 3rd, 2017

    On this Full Moon night, your receptivity to sensual pleasures will be greatly enhanced, ...