The Death in Rebirth – a Paradox

    by Nandi Hetenyi

    Rebirth. This is a time of transition; a rich initiation into yet another mysterious unfolding of the journey we are collectively dreaming awake together.

    You are creation manifest as you. Creation is manifest as you. Ever flowing, ever dying, ever reforming, ever being born again.

    When the butterfly is ready to break out of the cocoon, there is a greater effort required to push through the walls, to break free and shake off the final weight of the well worn, nourishing womb sheath.

    That effort, that final push, can feel like the hardest sometimes.

    We are here, being called to stretch inner heart muscles, to lean into the wisdom of unknown parts of our soul, to trust in things we have not yet seen or known of ourselves and to befriend the unknown with the courage only love can muster.

    A love for what is yet to come.

    A love for the mystery.

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    This initiation calls forth breaking through yet another unconscious cave we have been living in.

    Whatever that is for you. Knowing your true voice. Thriving in life as fully yourself as you can possibly be. Knowing true love. Embodying self-love. Mastering emotions. Living into soul purpose. Experiencing real abundance within and without.

    The universe knows your deepest longing.

    Love calls forth from the depths of the things that block your way.

    The old selves you aren’t yet done with. The deeper pains need to be metabolized in order to liberate the life force pathways.

    This is one of the complex layers of grief that hardly anyone talks about, or even notices because there is something like a numbing of that  which is forgotten or dead inside. A culture afraid of death yet worshipping hear numbing violence.

    This layer of grief though, is perhaps the most important.

    It is the grieving for yourself. It is grieving for all that has happened in your life, all your body and heart has endured, it is letting go of the old parts of you.

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    Grief is love. This grieving, this death, this dying to your old self that arises in the pathways of your soul corridors, this is the initiation into the new consciousness that is more you than before.

    The Phoenix rises.

    But what happens in that fire?

    This is the in-between. The bardo; a time where the richest re-generation of life, reconnection to soul and revival of innate wisdom is possible.

    The in-between is a space rich with possibility for liberation. It is rich with initiation. We as a Western society do not honor initiation and the soul rites that provide a healthy, emotional gateway into the next season, the next chapter and the next stage of life.

    We are here on the precipice, we are breaking out of the cocoon of Winter.

    We are clearing the fresh new ground in the heart.

    Every year and every moon cycle, you are offered an opportunity to rest at the altar of death and rebirth.

    To honor what has come with our tears and our love, to let go, release, water seeds and dance in the cycle… always becoming more and more you, landing more and more as the sacred comfortable in your own skin.

    This is the miracle of life. We don’t always get to know why, but we get to live it and sometimes that’s better.



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    About the Author:

    Dr. Nandi Hetenyi is a shamanic healer, grief midwife, writer, teacher and soul whisperer. She received her doctorate in clinical psychology from CIIS in addition to spending over 15 years studying and practicing Buddhism, yoga, meditation, shamanic journey, ritual, energy healing and personal growth. She envisions a world where we feel comfortable in our own skins and are happy about being a human. You can follow Dr. Hetenyi on Instagram and find out more about her work on her website,


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